tatts and thoughts

I got inked.

I mean I’ve always wanted to have one and I’ve always been sure that I’ll have one until I finally did it a few weeks ago. Both my parents have tatts and approval wasn’t an issue because I stopped asking for permission way back in college. To be honest, it was just fear that’s holding me back. Fear of needles, fear of blood and so on.

That is the case for almost everything I’ve ever wanted to do. Being a worrier, I overthink most of the time; like if someone chats me “yza”, I won’t be able to relax until that person replies. The problem is I think and I care probably way too much.. and these two stop me from doing a lot of things. I can’t try Space Shuttle because my brain keeps telling me that the engines or safety measures might fail or I can’t tell someone that I got hurt by what he/she did because I might offend that same person.

Anyway, going back, I’ve realized that thinking and caring too much are my worst enemies.

Here comes the jellyfish. A month ago, I had the chance to see jellies up close (and not just inside Manila Ocean Park’s aquarium) when I visited Lakawon Island. I really liked this tiny jellyfish in particular which I named Puffy. It is kind of translucent with shades of pastel pink and blue. That moment really made me happy and I felt like it’s the universe’s way of talking to me or idk, something like that.

As you know, jellies don’t have brains or hearts and figuratively, for me, it’s the kind of thing I need at times – like a jellyfish moment wherein I have to stop thinking and caring, and just do whatever it is that I want to do. Tbh, I just wanna live freely and just really let loose and I guess, sting people occasionally. LOL! Plus, I’ve always been mesmerized by their beauty. Well, yes, they are just blobs but their beauty is inexplicable.

That’s when it came upon me that I want my first tatt to be a jellyfish. And so, I got in touch with Charles Arteta of Arte Tattoo for my first ever sesh. He was really patient despite me being so makulit. The whole process went seamlessly from design making up to the actual inking. I initially wanted it in my back or ribs, but then, I figured that the whole point of having it is to visually remind me of the “jellyfish moment”. If I put it somewhere hidden, I’d have to take my clothes off or go in front of the mirror just to see it. So, forearm, it is.

And hey, as it turned out, it wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. Truth is, it’s around 4/10 and tolerable. Then again, it was not pain but the fear of pain that stopped me from doing something I wanted for so long. Good thing, moving forward, my jellyfish tatt will always be here to remind me.

Anyway, I can’t wait to get inked again and my goodness, I have so many designs in mind but ofc, I won’t be writing a long ass post about them anymore. I guess it’s true what they say, once you get inked, you can never have just one.

To whoever’s reading this, may you also find courage to go after what you want.

Stay sunny,

yza